Monday, November 13, 2006
you know what i have been grounded for 21 days.... great... wow! never actually been grounded before...so i can't stand it anymore....sometimes i feel like running away from all my problems and start a new life but the good side of me keeps telling me...if you stay on and not run away from your probems....there will actually be a solution...how do i get out of this??? the question should be....how did i get myself into this....??? well....it all started when my dad took me to this mall.... without my mum to buy some stuff.....and when she found out that night she got angry because she thought that the whole family will go out together....so she did no talk to me for rest of the night and was cold to me in the morning.... every word that came out of her mouth is like she forcing the words to come out....there is no more smiles....well...too bad....let's continue... right then later i was supposed to hang out with my friends at the mall....my sister didn't want to go out because she wanted to watch tv....and my dad couldn't leave her alone....well... she started crying and blaming me....my dad got so mad that he scolded me.....(he seldom does that) so he called my mum...she said that she didn't give a thumbs up that i was going..... so i got it again....my dad did not know that i was tearing up at the back of the car....he didn't know what i felt yesterday....because i never had a chance to explain....they hardly listen...if they did they'd say that i complain a lot.... well i will admit "I DO! I DO COMPLAIN A LOT!" it is just the way i am and i am about to change myself....i just need time.... you see.... i learnt a lot since the exams were over..... you had no idea.....you never see the positive side of me....i worked so hard on scrubing the toilet walls..... and if i never mentioned that....i don't think that you will ever notice....since i told you that i scrubbed the walls....guess what you replied???? "I DON"T SEE ANY DIFFERENCE" you don't but the person working does....i do housework everyday.... and you said that i did not ..... when you did not see me....where were you.... working....see what i mean...everytime your words hit me.....i feel like falling off a cliff but i dun think i am brave enough to do that...i am afraid of a sparrow....imagine that...all the while....i did not have an nline diary....but now i do.....this is the only place i can go to when i am sad...or happy....or confused... or even anything at all...oh welll....at least my parents are not angry anymore....but the punishment is still there....just watched "the perfect man" .... holly's friend draws great.... and he is also romantic....he IMed her and told her that...."love is friendship on fire"....her mom read that when she was sleeping....isn't that just sweet....i guess that show made it to my top ten list of movies....haaha....don't actuallly have one....just in my brain... it keeps me thinking is love really friendship on fire??? i dunnu....hahaha... well...my head is filled with things ...thoughts actually... everything is making me confused!!! what can i do? i guess.... all i can do is do whatever they say and maybe they will consider taking away my punishment.... i am going post another entry ... read ahead!!!
signing out,
*guilty me*
signing out,
*guilty me*
Because you love me for who I am. 12:16 AM.
