being judged for the way you look is extremely common nowadays. The obese are always ostracized from the society. Only the stick-thin models end up on the covers of magazines implying that we have to be that size to be beautiful. Yes, the models do look great on the cover but not everybody looks like that, and not everyone can afford to look like that. For some people, to look like that they would have to starve for a lifetime. Well, that is not very practical right? Believe me. The thin or the "hot" will turn heads every time they walk past. Don't believe me? Try noticing the next time you're in a mall or somewhere crowded. Not only the guys will stare, girls too, wishing that they were like that. I know because I am like that. I wonder why my metabolism rate is sooo low. I wonder why I get fat so easily when some of my friends who can eat ten times more than me are just half my size. Does this mean that I cannot enjoy the greatness of food because I have to watch my weight? I didn't know that I was like that until a few months ago, I started eating normally. Notice the word normally... When I came back to Penang, I realised that I have put on 5kg. That is a lot of weight for someone to put on. I just don't understand. I went to the doctor and he told me to eat less and exercise. I don't know why I am so pressured by this. I am still normal after all. It was when I sat down and thought hard I realised that it was all in my head. My environment. At home, if I put on weight, I would be teased. And the worse part is, your size is the only thing that people notice after not seeing you for a while. They say 'wow you put on weight' or 'you got chubbier or fatter'. Well, if they don't say it to your face, they will be talking about you behind your back, which is worse for me that is. Is being thin so important? What if you're thin and sick? What is the point? And nobody is helping me. All they do is 'look at your thighs, so big!' or 'your fats are causing your pants to explode'. WHO IS HELPING? Who has to suffer these torments? I just don't get it. Everybody is so caught up with their teasing that they neglect the thought 'maybe this girl needs help' or 'maybe she needs to see a doctor'. No. The teased are just left to defend for themselves. Now, before you tease a person about their weight, put yourself in their shoes and imagine how you would feel if you were him/her. Don't say that you will never let yourself get to that level. The future is uncertain. So, keep your harsh comments to yourself and think about someone's feeling before saying anything. Because you might not know, you might end up in that place one day. These teasing will cause people who are a littly chubby think that they are obese. STOP THE TEASING AND PUT YOUR ENERGY INTO HELPING THEM.
Because you love me for who I am. 6:37 PM.
And the process to revive my blog begins. How long has it been? Time really flies. It has already been one year since I first went to INTEC. One year. 2 semesters. I feel as though I am in a bullet train, travelling through the passage of time, watching my life as it goes by. Life is more routined nowadays (although there are some surprises along the way), still, it reeks of monotony. Everyday, I get up at 6 or so, drag myself out of bed to the toilet, freeze up in the bathroom because cold water is all we have, brush up, blow my hair, prepare breakfast and then off to catch the bus to college for classes which start at 8. In the evenings, I brave the cold in the library as I sit there doing work/ study. Dinner is always at Ehsan which is walking distance from college and after that it is back to the freezing cold library until about 8 or 9 and then back to my hostel.
Then came final exams. The feeling of standing in front of the Great Hall still terrifies me even after one year. Fear along with the cold air that seeps through the tiny gaps between the glass doors and the wall is a feeling that cannot be described. Not to mention the wait in front of the hall. My insides screaming "Let me get this over with. Open the doors quick!!" Until the moment the door opens, my heart pumps with the speed of light and when the door finally opens, my heart stops for a second. I glanced around, people rushing in the hall as though they were prisoners finally being freed. But there was no sense of freedom here. And instead of rushing out, people are rushing in. Without haste, I followed the flow and my eyes searching for the sign that read "10M3". I panic when I saw no sign, heart thumping. My eyes fell to the seat right in front of where I was standing. Phew. A sign of relief that was. '10M3' was taped to the seat. I proceed to my seat and wait for further instructions. I make sure that my pens and other paraphernalia needed for the examination are arranged properly on the left and my I.D on my right. Instructions to write our names on the paper were given out. I could see heads bend over as I bend mine to write my own name. I hold my black pen ready to start. The hall was so quiet that I could have sworn that I could hear the clock ticking. And the invigilator says "you may begin ." now." Pages turn swiftly and pens started moving. Moving. Moving. Cold sweat wets my right palm as I wipe it on my shirt occasionally. The sound of the chief invigilator picking up the mike sends chills down my spine. How much more time do I have left? 10 minutes? 5 minutes? Or is he going to ask us to stop writing now? Despite all that, my hand never failed to move in sync with my pen. 10 minutes left. 5. Stop writing now. Those three words burns holes in my hand. Am I done with answering? I ask myself this question as I flip the pages to my question paper frantically while the other invigilators start collecting the finished or unfinished papers. And after that, I grab my things and walk out, forgetting all about the exam paper and to concentrate on the next one.
That was basically what I went through during exams. It is a battlefield, I tell you. The questions are the enemy. Divide and conquer, we must. Conquer especially.
So, after all the exam horror and drama, my friends and I went out for dinner. Well, before that we watched a movie. =) Bounty hunter. A nice one that was. Hilarious. Walked about Sunway Pyramid and met up with a few more for dinner. At Manhattan Fish Market. Yummy. *licks lips* Thanks guys for the book. =)
And I proceeded to buy Kiran her birthday present. I tried so hard to hide it from her.. hahah! But gave it all away when I gave her her present on her birthday! which happens to be mine too. OKay. So I was working on her birthday present almost close to midnight when the door to my hostel room opened and suddenly i heard people singing Happy Birthday.. How sweet of my friends to do that for me. And there was cake and presents. Best surprise ever. I can't thank you guys enough. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! One of the best birthdays I've ever had. =))) all smiles!! Nick called all the way from AUSTRALIA.. double surprise!!!
The real day however was great too! I called Kiran first thing in the morning to give her her present!! She was obviously surprised and i hope she likes it =) and after that was just simply wonderful. Had dinner at Chili's and walked around. And learnt how to solve the Rubiks Cube.. but have forgotten how... =P hehe
Then came MOVING DAY!!! One of the most dreaded days of the semester other than exam dates. It really was a test of my fitness level. Obviously, it was and still is below average. Probably negative. haha! Well, up and down 3 floors carrying a whole lot of stuff; bag after bag, box after box. Most of it goes to Aunty Pearly's car though.. ahaha Thank goodness she was there to help me. Honestly, I was on the verge of throwing everything down. After that, I had to unload everything from her car to her house. And I had to pack for Bali.. My cousin came to bunk in with us that night.. and so we left for Bali for 4 days.. when I came back I stayed at my cousin's place for almost a week and had loads of fun =) with them and family..
Now, I am back in Penang, kinda missing fun in KL.. haha! But i know that next semester will be another blast... a better one than this semester for sure! Don't get me wrong, I had a lot of fun this sem. I am just implying that next semester should be better. Well, it better be. =P ahha! Until next time.. Ciao! =)
Because you love me for who I am. 7:20 AM.