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Monday, September 08, 2008

i can't believe this. no focus. no attention paid. nothing. i mean why me? why now? at this crucial moment? the last lap is definitely the most important thing ever, for now. yeah, you guessed it. SPM. no, i am not writing today to vent my stress that i am experiencing because of SPM. it is not that i never tried to study but everytime i try, i think of you. yeah. i admit it. i am still not over it yet. you think its that easy? well, maybe for you but for me it is like ripping my heart out of my chest. until today, i am still wondering why you did that. i just want to know. few months have passed. everytime i see you, i still have butterflies in my stomach. everytime you talk to me i feel my heart in my mouth. now i am lost. i seriously don't know what to do anymore. ANYMORE! i cannot help it. i am sorry. maybe my own hallucinations got me here to this point of confusion. i just want to know the truth. well, maybe this is the truth. i dunno. this is really starting to get to me. i can't deal with this now. i have trials in another two weeks. i'll be damned if i don't do well. you're not affected i see. well, it is good for you. all i need now is someone who can tell me what to do. is this as crazy as it think it is? when other people mention your name, i feel sad. i don't know why. i mean we were not together but.... it is not other people who made me happy.. it was you. and i am glad that you still do. your jokes and your laugh. they make me feel warm on the inside. so, here i am venting out my feelings. not because of spm. lol. i feel that maybe i should just be invisible and maybe it won't hurt so much anymore. yeah. maybe. just maybe. god please help me! i really need this. please. at least let me study or concentrate.


Because you love me for who I am. 7:32 AM.


javascript:void(0) About: Vanessa =) -the rants and ramblings of a young adult at the beginning of a journey of a lifetime. nineteen this year. Loves: God. shopping.dancing. chocolate.muffins.cookies. sushi.bags.shoes. ice cream.storybooks.

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▪ Because God created us to live and live we shall. ▪ Because God loves us for who we are. ▪ No one loves us the way God does. ▪ And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might-Deuteronomy 6:5 ▪ A loving heart is the truest wisdom -Charles Dickens
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