Sunday, June 22, 2008
messed up. CRUSHED. torn into a MILLION pieces. not to mention the fact that i feel like CRAP all the time. i have been going insane, having mood swings and loads of things were rushing through my mind. mostly, i was thinking about this. how stupid was i to let this happen...? apparently i have lost my ability to reason when i lost this precious gift of mine. when i looked at the gift my mind becomes serene no matter how angry am i. when i am sad or down, all i have to do is talk to the gift and miraculously it gives me the answer. i haven't been thinking straight... the pain and agony beneath me is too hard and too painful to mention. nights have been hard for me. the day isn't any less painful. i just need an answer. i want to escape from the agony that i am in. to elude all pain and heartache that i am enduring. to get out of the mess that i put myself in. to reason with logic and to give all i can in what i do. for an angel to care for me the exact way that edward cared for bella in twilight. i need that angel now. the craziness in my mind is rejecting all sanity. i have never felt this way before. never indeed. everytime i lay my eyes on you, they never want to look at anything else. now it feels like i am a magic spell gone awry. my mind wants to shut you out forever but..there are reasons why my heart does not want to do so and that is why i am stuck in between. i try to forget.... but i guess.... i can't. let time be the judge of everything.
p/s:
bear in mind that i did not use any names!
Because you love me for who I am. 5:19 AM.
