Saturday, December 27, 2008
the time has come. it is too late to turn back now. far far too late.
Because you love me for who I am. 7:25 PM.
this is not i planned,
confusion consumed me,
blurred my vision so that i couldn't see,
that sooner or later, i'm damned.
it is unfair,
but that is life,
with happiness or despair,
we part without even saying proper goodbyes.
soon, we'll be meeting different people,
but will i forget you? will it happen?
i tried but last night it failed terribly,
i have no choice but to run away.
people say that running away is not a solution,
but it helps me forget the one who hurt me so deeply,
the scar that is imprinted on my heart like a tatoo,
forever and ever.
each day, it cuts me deep inside,
the wound gets bigger and bigger,
soon enough, the soul dissipates bit by bit,
until the empty body is left to wilt like a rose by the window,
waiting, waiting, waiting...
for who it does not know..
the heart wilts along with the rose,
as the days go by,
it sheds petals by petals,
until none is left,
you know that revival is futile,
whatever it is,
it is dead.
confusion consumed me,
blurred my vision so that i couldn't see,
that sooner or later, i'm damned.
it is unfair,
but that is life,
with happiness or despair,
we part without even saying proper goodbyes.
soon, we'll be meeting different people,
but will i forget you? will it happen?
i tried but last night it failed terribly,
i have no choice but to run away.
people say that running away is not a solution,
but it helps me forget the one who hurt me so deeply,
the scar that is imprinted on my heart like a tatoo,
forever and ever.
each day, it cuts me deep inside,
the wound gets bigger and bigger,
soon enough, the soul dissipates bit by bit,
until the empty body is left to wilt like a rose by the window,
waiting, waiting, waiting...
for who it does not know..
the heart wilts along with the rose,
as the days go by,
it sheds petals by petals,
until none is left,
you know that revival is futile,
whatever it is,
it is dead.
Because you love me for who I am. 6:39 PM.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
[CHORUS:]
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase-
[Chorus]
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
[Chorus]
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me....
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
[CHORUS:]
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase-
[Chorus]
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along
[Chorus]
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me....
Because you love me for who I am. 7:44 PM.
I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok
But that’s not what gets me
What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do
It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I’m doin’ It
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart That I left unspoken
What hurts the most Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
What hurts the most Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
Not seeing that loving you
That’s what I was trying to do
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok
But that’s not what gets me
What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do
It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I’m doin’ It
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart That I left unspoken
What hurts the most Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
What hurts the most Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
Not seeing that loving you
That’s what I was trying to do
Because you love me for who I am. 5:14 PM.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
the FUTURE...
the two words that sound so freakingly scary to everyone.. well... to me at least.
it's like there is a forked road in front of me and i don't know which one to take.
it is the decision that will change my life.
the start of something new.
is it the safe path or the one less travelled?
i wouldn't know unless i have the courage to choose..
i know that "easy won't be part of the equation".. and it will be a bumpy road ahead of me...
obstacles are a definite..
usually...there is no turning back.... the point of no return
my dad said that is entirely up to me...
but what if i screw it up? what if i can't make it? what if i waste money?
all my life i have been waiting for the moment where i can make my own decisions... but now my parents are actually allowing me to make them... i don't know what to do...
now...i rather them make the decision for me..
but i know that eventually i have to make my own decisions... i have to learn..
Dad: you will learn through your mistakes.. you have to.... but to do that.. you have to make your own mistakes. then only you can learn from them.. don't let us make those mistakes for you ..
and we can't protect you forever...
what would my decision be?
the million dollar question...
well... i'll have to make it no matter what...
"if you risk nothing, you risk everything" -Geena Davis
Because you love me for who I am. 6:07 AM.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Problems! Problems and Problems!
1. choices
2. broken dreams
3. unhappiness
4. unemployment
5. backstabbing
6. gossips
7. losses.. (people or even belongings)
8. unrequited love
9. broken hearts
10. i can't think of anymore right now but there are more that you can think of
"once a failure.. always a failure"
" if you ain't first.. you're last" - talladega nights: the ballad of ricky bobby
you told me otherwise. you told me to believe in myself. that i must have faith in myself. you were the one who said have confidence. and it is not about winning or losing. it is about giving my best. you were the one who took the trouble to calm me down everytime i'm nervous. you were there when i needed you. it is because of you i became more confident.( or at least more confident than before). it is because of you, i learnt to think of the future and the consequences that it has upon us. you made me a more rational person. you showed me good examples by being a perfect role model. it is because of people like you i have discovered that happiness does not rest in one thing... instead it must be sought. you showed me how important focus is on whatever i'm doing. you somehow made me feel alive. and the most important thing of all... you showed me that all problems have their own particular solution. you are a good buddy. buddy, i wanna thank you just for being there and you will always be my buddy.
"some friends cannot be replaced..."-eragon
"buddy, you are absolutely irreplacable"- vanessa
thanks for everything.
Because you love me for who I am. 5:49 AM.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
If I were a boy, even just for a day
I'd roll out of bed in the morning and throw on what I wanted and go
Drink beer with the guys, and chase after girls
I'd kick it with who I wanted and I'd never get confronted for it
Cause they stick up for me
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man
I'd listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he's taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
If I were a boy, I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone it's broken so they think that I was sleeping alone
I'd put myself first and make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she'd be faithful, waiting for me to come home
To come home
If I were a boy
I think I could understand,
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man
I'd listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he's taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
It's a little too late for you to come back
Say it's just a mistake, think I'd forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You got it wrong
But you're just a boy
And you don't understand (yea, you don't understand, oh!)
How it feels to love a girl someday
You wish you were a better man
You don't listen to her
You don't care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Because you've taken her for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
But you're just a boy
if and only if..
I'd roll out of bed in the morning and throw on what I wanted and go
Drink beer with the guys, and chase after girls
I'd kick it with who I wanted and I'd never get confronted for it
Cause they stick up for me
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man
I'd listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he's taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
If I were a boy, I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone it's broken so they think that I was sleeping alone
I'd put myself first and make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she'd be faithful, waiting for me to come home
To come home
If I were a boy
I think I could understand,
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man
I'd listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he's taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
It's a little too late for you to come back
Say it's just a mistake, think I'd forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You got it wrong
But you're just a boy
And you don't understand (yea, you don't understand, oh!)
How it feels to love a girl someday
You wish you were a better man
You don't listen to her
You don't care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Because you've taken her for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
But you're just a boy
if and only if..
Because you love me for who I am. 2:24 AM.
